Hope, Ryan, and Kierkegaard

Erin: I've really been gathering strength from Psalm 23 this week.
Nina: hmm...I've been gathering strength from memories of your brother's childhood.
Erin: Well, look how the Lord provides for each of us individually!

This is Ryan.

Ryan is a model citizen. He graduated from college. He has a great job - in addition to selling real estate! He is married to a fabulous woman. He renovated their home himself. He runs marathons. He volunteers at his church. He is a kind-hearted, willing servant. He is committed to his faith, his family, and to bringing good times wherever he goes. He loves people well and he laughs hard. And as this picture shows - he's quite the dresser.

Ryan's early childhood is the stuff legends are made of. Get his mom, Joyce, started and the tales strike fear into every young parents heart. No car seat could restrain this child. Here's the great part - I remember. Erin and I have been friends since we were three. Ryan and my sister Ruthie have been friends since they started kindergarten. Ryan married Ruthie's best friend Kristen. We all grew up in this funny little world involving a Christian school, lots of commutes down I-64 and a place called Hilltop. These are the ties that bind.

All of my memories of Ryan at a very young age involve him being in some sort of enclosure: a crib, a playpen, a makeshift barricade. He was a danger to himself and society. This was clear. But here's what's amazing: it didn't last. I feel like Ryan has been the wonderful life of the party we now know since he was at least...eight? Whatever that was that dominated his earliest years has no bearing on him now. He took the energy, the creativity, the love and he left the animal behind.

And on a certain long afternoon last week, it was this realization that gave me hope. Large heapings of hope.

We are all unfinished works...I am so thankful that I am not stuck being who I was as a toddler, in middle school...or even two hours ago. I want to take all that is beautiful and noble and good in Sophia and Olivia and draw it out in big ways - encourage and inspire them to create and love and learn. And I want to turn the hard stuff into beauty by demonstrating forgiveness and grace and forgetfulness towards shortcomings. I hope to remember that what causes me stress today will probably bring laughter tomorrow. And even the wildest child of any age holds all the potential of God's creation. He's not done with us yet.

"Now, with God's help, I shall become myself." Soren Kierkegaard