Hope, Ryan, and Kierkegaard

Erin: I've really been gathering strength from Psalm 23 this week.
Nina: hmm...I've been gathering strength from memories of your brother's childhood.
Erin: Well, look how the Lord provides for each of us individually!

This is Ryan.

Ryan is a model citizen. He graduated from college. He has a great job - in addition to selling real estate! He is married to a fabulous woman. He renovated their home himself. He runs marathons. He volunteers at his church. He is a kind-hearted, willing servant. He is committed to his faith, his family, and to bringing good times wherever he goes. He loves people well and he laughs hard. And as this picture shows - he's quite the dresser.

Ryan's early childhood is the stuff legends are made of. Get his mom, Joyce, started and the tales strike fear into every young parents heart. No car seat could restrain this child. Here's the great part - I remember. Erin and I have been friends since we were three. Ryan and my sister Ruthie have been friends since they started kindergarten. Ryan married Ruthie's best friend Kristen. We all grew up in this funny little world involving a Christian school, lots of commutes down I-64 and a place called Hilltop. These are the ties that bind.

All of my memories of Ryan at a very young age involve him being in some sort of enclosure: a crib, a playpen, a makeshift barricade. He was a danger to himself and society. This was clear. But here's what's amazing: it didn't last. I feel like Ryan has been the wonderful life of the party we now know since he was at least...eight? Whatever that was that dominated his earliest years has no bearing on him now. He took the energy, the creativity, the love and he left the animal behind.

And on a certain long afternoon last week, it was this realization that gave me hope. Large heapings of hope.

We are all unfinished works...I am so thankful that I am not stuck being who I was as a toddler, in middle school...or even two hours ago. I want to take all that is beautiful and noble and good in Sophia and Olivia and draw it out in big ways - encourage and inspire them to create and love and learn. And I want to turn the hard stuff into beauty by demonstrating forgiveness and grace and forgetfulness towards shortcomings. I hope to remember that what causes me stress today will probably bring laughter tomorrow. And even the wildest child of any age holds all the potential of God's creation. He's not done with us yet.

"Now, with God's help, I shall become myself." Soren Kierkegaard

Found...in the back of the OVEN

After I had just cooked a pizza.

" Sophia, who put this stuff in the oven?"

"Olivia."

"Sophia, who put this stuff in the oven?"

"I did. Last Saturday. When I was cleaning up."

The truth is becoming increasingly elusive in this house. Pampered Chef scored big points with me. The pot was completely undamaged. I wish I could say the same for Purple Duck..Oh, the smell of burning plastic...

Signs of the Season...

Yankee Candle continues to give...this time free foam Bunny Ears!
Sophia really liked hers.

We went to support the Tribe in a home baseball game with our neighbors...

The girls loved dancing on the bleachers and eating choking hazards like popcorn and peanuts.

The only thing missing was a Jumbotron - Foo would never have left.

Here's Sophia snuggling up with Stacey.

Hosanna!

I thought this picture looked full of teen angst - makes me a little nervous.

And Foo, dancing in the street! Have a wonderful week!

Weekly Press Clippings...

Erin once wisely stated: "Nina, this is how we know God loves us: life is so freakin' ridiculous."

Click here for further proof.

When approached for my name and info I was torn between refusing publishing (remember the old fear about being seen exercising, yeah) and insisting that though I appeared to be walking I had been running a few minutes before, two minutes to be exact and for 90 seconds. But alas, there it is for all posterity (on the Peninsula) I was merely walking.

From My Kitchen...with Jess

Jess has been feeding me well for about 8 years. She visited this past weekend and old habits die hard.

The dialogue went something like this:

Nina: Jess, lets talk about dinner. We could go out (Simone style) or grill out (read: burgers)

Jess: Or we could cook something here (read: Jess cooks because Nina still gets paralyzed in her own kitchen.) We could do something easy.

Nina: Jess - You are my guest! You will not cook for me (read: insecurity about what I bring to the table in this friendship)

Jess: Nina, I would love to do it. We can do the cod/shrimp/corn packs on the grill. It will be fun. (read: She is completely sincere)



And Jess, with Sophia's help put together the following meal. It was delicious. And like any other meal grilled in foil packs, it created very little mess - a plus for my dishwasher-free kitchen.

Here's the link to the recipe from EveryDay Food for the "Grilled New England Seafood Bake" - the ingredients are simple favorites: corn on the cob, potatoes, cod, and shrimp. These are the packets before they go on the grill:

Behold, the feast ready to eat - we had bought pre-cooked shrimp this time, so they were warmed separately.


And here's another satisfied customer:

Jess - you inspire me! Last night I made Baked Tilapia!

And I have now officially blogged both about running and cooking.

Excuse me while I go find myself.

A Perfect Spring Saturday

We had amazing weather to celebrate a reunion with newlywed Mrs. Jessica Jiao Smith and Newly-born Aidan Benjamin Solomon. The last time I saw Jess she was in a limo driving away from an amazing wedding on to a new life in a new state with a new husband and a new job as grad student. She came back this weekend and we spent all afternoon and evening outside with...

Avery and Aidan! Aidan was born on Sophia's birthday - December 16th - 3 years later. He is an adorable squoosh of a baby - though not quite used to all of this sunshine and heat!

Olivia wasn't quite ready for the change in season - as she insisted on wearing one mitten for a good part of the afternoon. Or perhaps a tribute to The Gloved One?

We accomplished a great trial-run in my goal for the spring and summer: eat as many meals as possible OUTSIDE. We flung open the windows and doors and the girls just ran around like freed animals - with many outfit changes, and lots of barefeet.

At this point, Foo took full advantage of her lingering babyhood - diaper only please.

They loved being outside. Mealtime transformed from what often feels like cruel and unusual punishment for all of us to laid-back enjoyment. Here they are singing to each other - I think?

We hope you got outside and enjoyed the weather this weekend too!

Sometimes its nice to know...

...that I can still dress them up and take them out.

Blog Shout Out Goes To...

TARA ZIMAK!!!!!!

Today is Monday. More importantly, tonight is Monday night and Travis and I will go out to dinner as we do every Monday night sans los ninos. We can do this because for the past few months Tara has babysat for us every Monday night! She not only babysits for us but she coordinates an army to help her, recognizing that putting these sisters to bed is no one man job.

Further Shout Outs are in order for...Maggie, Christie, Kristina and Ali.

Thank you girls for loving my girls. Thank you for preserving my marriage. Thank you for reminding me that getting out of the yoga pants and sitting down to eat with my husband is still a noble and worthy endeavor.

Tara just sent me the following archive of Monday night pictures taken on her camera phone over the past few months:

I have no idea. But again, what matters, is that she's having fun - and we were out to dinner.


I'm starting to see why Sophia asks me to leave whenever these girls come over...



Wow. Very artistic.




Christie! What are you saying to Foo?

Just kickin' back...

The face of someone who does not have separation anxiety...

Worn out...

Thanks girls. One day, in about 12 years you will look back and realize why I choke up with gratitude for all you do for me and my little ones. I feel unbelievably blessed. You are so good to me!

You know you live in Williamsburg when...

... your 3-year old demands from her stroller " I want the turkey with House Dressing!!!"
It was an absolutely perfect day which meant a walk to CW and lunch at The Cheese Shop. Judah had the corn dog, Sophia had her turkey with house and Foo had Barbecue Chips. Poor Lydia had to keep it to applesauce and puffs. Her day will come.

Move Over Rachel Zoe...

This girl is Red Carpet Ready.

FOUND: Missing Camera and Update from the Couch

Apparently my running partners were not stretching during our warm up time...

I received so much encouragement about the couch to 5k program, I wanted to update. We have run every other day since starting. Twice this has been in the rain which feels intense and hopefully looks impressive. Yesterday, I felt like the run was slightly more difficult and I got a bit discouraged - until I noticed Sophia's 15 library books in the bottom of the stroller. I cling to that stroller. Jessie keeps offering to take a turn pushing for me but i think its a security blanket. I have identified my two core fears while running:

1. Collapsing

2. looking ridiculous

I hide behind the stroller to deal with the latter fear, as for the former - if I keep excess weight out of the stroller, I am starting to feel my body being trained to do something new. Could I be at the Under Armor outlet by next month?

I read it.

And I liked it. We all ate, prayed and loved with Liz the first time as we stifled our jealousy that she could resolve her personal crisis through a world tour and a best seller. Must be nice.

But truth be told. I like Liz. I like her honesty about her struggles and her angst and her admittance that exotic locales in themselves do not solve problems (Riiight) Committed has less sobbing but no less conflict as she reconciles her feelings about marriage the second time around. Fans of EPL will miss the pizza and yoga in exchange for large chunks of sociological and historical overview of marriage. Me? I love the sociohistorio stuff. Descriptions of Hmong marriage rituals? Yes! Revelations on how the church and the state have passed this institution back and forth to serve each of their love-less agendas? More please!

But the best part of reading this tale of torment was putting it down and realizing: I am not tormented. I have been before and I will be again, but today...I am at peace. And according to Liz, and statistics, I should be miserable. Based on my life choices I am doomed to divorce and and regret. Talk about committed?! I read this book in four minute intervals while hiding in the bathroom...

But I am learning that life is about trade-offs. I may never be Secretary of State (sad) or Beyonce (sadder) But I realize that for every sacrifice there is a gain. I also choose to believe crazy stuff, counter-intuitive stuff like "Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for me will find it." (Jesus) And my favorite theologian, Michael W. Smith "Love isn't love until you give it away..." We are all committing to something...

In the midst of one of my covert reading sessions, I heard the familiar pat-pat-pat of little feet and then the bathroom door swung open. If Foo spoke English she would have said "Here you are Silly! How did you get away from me?" And at that moment, I felt, confusingly, a strong sense of belonging, commitment, and freedom.

Explanations

These are pictures from last Memorial Day, about the name that we started calling Baby Sister Olivia "Foo". The above picture of S and O, Uncle Tbone and Juan Bobo is one of my all-time favorites.

I have been asked about the origin of Olivia's alias "Foo." I forget that it might not sound quite right to people. What's sad is that there really isn't a funny or satisfying explanation except the age-old story of us building our own symbolic world, an island of weirdness - a "family system."

On our vacation to Martha's Vineyard last May I started calling Olivia "Stinky Foo" which rhymed with "Bugaboo" - my nickname for Sophia. Sophia thought it was so funny but then suggested we just call her "Foo." It stuck. Olivia has four syllables. The majority of time all four are not making it out. So she becomes Liv, or Livie, or Livia, or...Foo.

See, now it makes no more real sense than before - but if you find you don't need it to...well, welcome to the family:)