On Thursday I confronted something I had been dreading for years: PASSY DETOX. For Sophia? Yes. Isn't she over three? Yes again. Go ahead, judge me. I judged myself . Our Dentist, a friend, showed me on Thursday the passy-shaped hole in Sophia's bite and I knew it was now - or never.
We had been talking about it forever...Sophia had asked for everything from a piano to a dog and a cat for her "no more passy" present. We had talked about having a party. We planned to give her passies to the neighbors baby. But as we drove home from her first dentist appointment we were both silent and very somber. It wasn't about gimicks. It couldn't be. I was sad for my girl as I watched her clutch her most precious possessions for the last time. I knew I was watching a first bit of innocence slip away: the realization that sometimes things that we really love are not good for us.
And I was terrified of what lay ahead. This child had sucked on a pacifier to put herself to sleep since her first weeks of life. They helped her transition, relax, calm down in the midst of screaming - and likewise her using the thing helped me in all the same ways.
Sophia gave them up to me in the car on that ride home in exchange for some M&M's (correct the bite or rot the teeth?) She has not asked for them since. She accepted this step in maturity with grit and valor. The nights have been a little rough as she learns to settle herself down differently but hey who's not up at least twice a night anyways? Another week and hopefully she will be in full recovery.
Above is a pictorial tribute to Sophia's pacifier through the years. It was hard to find pictures of her with in the past two years because I always made her take it out when cameras were around. My only regret in this whole process is the shame I felt about it. Looking back I do not think either of us would have survived the Two's without it. I affirm all sorts of comfort attachments. All adults seem to have is food and alcohol which can create worse problems than a bad bite. Maybe we should all still carry our lovies and blankies around...
You know I am exhausted and slightly crazy when I got emotional the first night she went to sleep on her own. All those nights of shoving it into her newborn mouth, the late night trips to the store to buy replacements, the shameful hiding of it whenever we were out in public...this is farewell to a lifestyle of dependency and secrecy for all of us. Here's to new beginnings and freedom from strongholds...:)
4 comments:
Oh dear Nina while I may not have come upon this day myself I know it will be coming. Little Kiley only falls asleep at night by nursing. Then its a game of "can I pick her up and walk her to the crib without waking her up?" I am so glad Sophia is taking this new step so well and hope that the paci-free nights go smoothly. And some of us do hold on to our lovies. I was saving my old fisher-price bunny security blanket circa 1979 for Kiley. I've seen them on ebay for as much as $250.
No judgement here! I dread the day where noah says goodbye to his passy. I am so proud of her!
Nina, this sounds really hard and I am proud of you guys! I am in the midst of reading 3 different baby sleeping method books to prepare for our little one's arrival in about 8 weeks, and my mind is a-whirl with to paci, or not to paci, to swaddle or not to-swaddle, etc. It's always nice to hear what motherhood is like and what works and doesn't work for other people!
Kate - your books speak nonsense. I actually remember it was your Mom who encouraged me with the pacifier when Sophia was a few weeks old and I was being neurotic about it. She was like - give it to her. It will help her. Look at Kate - she doesn't use it anymore.:) I heeded her advice and no regrets!
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